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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26784700">Fighting Like Cats and Dogs</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerSupreme/pseuds/SunflowerSupreme'>SunflowerSupreme</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Witcher (A/B/O) [35]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Gen, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Jaskier | Dandelion, The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:36:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,813</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26784700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerSupreme/pseuds/SunflowerSupreme</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Well, well, ladies did quite a number on you.</i>
</p>
<p><b>Fighting Like Cats and Dogs</b><br/>To fight or argue a lot or in a very forceful and angry way</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon &amp; Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon &amp; Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Triss Merigold, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Triss Merigold/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Witcher (A/B/O) [35]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>103</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>If you’ve played the game… you may know where this is headed. Let’s just say it’s the funniest side quest.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">“Your alpha do that to your feet, pretty boy?”</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion froze, looking up from the papers he’d been writing on. An unfamiliar man loomed over him, absolutely reeking of Alpha hormones. <em>Shit</em>.</p>
<p class="p1">His eyes flicked across the room, but Zoltan didn’t seem to have noticed.</p>
<p class="p1">“I asked you a question. I wanted to know if your Alpha snapped your, feet.”</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion clenched his fists.</p>
<p class="p1">“Were you whoring about with the brothel girls?” A hand touched Dandelion’s shoulder, just above his scent glands. He pressed into his skin roughly. “Or did he break them because of your heresy?”</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion swallowed, finally finding his voice.</p>
<p class="p1">“My alpha,” Dandelion said, his voice loud and clear, ringing through the Chameleon. “Gave me a knife and taught me how to use it. I don’t need feet to do that.” He wondered if the man could smell his panic, could hear his pounding heart.</p>
<p class="p1">But the man growled, turned, and stomped out of the establishment.</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion watched him go, then glanced around to make certain that no one else had noticed. It wasn’t the first time someone had made comments about him, he was starting to get used to it, unfortunately. It was getting easier to respond, the first time it had happened he’d frozen up until Wendy had chased the man away with her frying pan.</p>
<p class="p1">He licked his finger and turned the page in his notebook.</p>
<p class="p1">That was when he smelled it.</p>
<p class="p1"><em>Lilac and gooseberries</em>.</p>
<p class="p1">“Hello Yen.” But it wasn’t Yennefer who sat beside him. Triss made herself at home in the seat beside him and a moment later, Yennefer sat across from him.</p>
<p class="p1">“How are your feet?” asked Triss.</p>
<p class="p1">“Fine,” he muttered, glancing around to see if Priscilla was nearby to stage a rescue. No such luck, it seemed she was upstairs resting.</p>
<p class="p1">“You still use that wheeled chair,” said Yennefer simply. “That doesn’t seem fine to me.”</p>
<p class="p1">“I like it,” he growled through his teeth. He didn’t use it all the time, he’d just discovered that if he alternated between the chair and his cane it made his feet ache less in the evenings.</p>
<p class="p1">“Where have you sent Geralt off to this time?” he asked. He hadn’t seen the Witcher since the previous morning, when he’d come back, reeking of sewage, with a nearly dead sorceress in his arms.</p>
<p class="p1">“He’s with Phillipa,” said Yennefer.</p>
<p class="p1">“They’re overthrowing Radovid,” supplied Triss.</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion finally looked up from his notebook. “What? You’re lying,” he accused. “Geralt can’t stand politics, you know-”</p>
<p class="p1">“Seems he’s decided to make an exception,” said Yennefer. “Wouldn’t you, for Radovid?”</p>
<p class="p1">“Novigrad is a free city,” replied Dandelion. “I don’t give a damn who the king is.”</p>
<p class="p1">“Radovid allows the Witch Hunts,” Triss pointed out.</p>
<p class="p1">“Oh so that’s it, is it? You’ve convinced Geralt to kill him? Who’s next, Hierarch Hemmelfart?”</p>
<p class="p1">“He chose to do it of his own accord,” replied Yennefer.</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion frowned. He wasn’t entirely convinced, but arguing wouldn’t accomplish anything. “What do you want?” he asked, looking between the two women. He hadn’t expected to see them together, they’d mostly been ignoring one another, since neither could decide who was going to “win” Geralt.</p>
<p class="p1">He wished they’d both just leave him alone.</p>
<p class="p1">The sorceresses grinned at one another. “Your help,” said Triss.</p>
<p class="p1">“We’re arranging a surprise for Geralt,” added Yennefer.</p>
<p class="p1">“A surprise?” the bard repeated.</p>
<p class="p1">“Mhm,” said Triss. “We’ve been talking, Yen and I and we’ve come to a decision.”</p>
<p class="p1">“We’ve wasted too much time fighting over Geralt,” explained Yennefer.</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion opened his mouth then closed it again slowly, deciding that his first thought was likely to get him turned into a toad. After a moment’s thought he nodded slowly, then asked, “You’re… proposing a threesome?”</p>
<p class="p1">“There’s no point in fighting over him,” said Yennefer again. “Wouldn’t you agree, Dandelion?”</p>
<p class="p1"><em>This will be better, won’t it? Geralt will be happy this way, he’ll have them both, and then they can’t hate me for existing</em>. His throat felt dry. “Yes,” he said slowly. “But I fail to see why you’ve decided to include me in this plan of yours.”</p>
<p class="p1">“We need a room,” said Yennefer. “With a…”</p>
<p class="p1">“Large bed,” finished Triss. “Sturdy.”</p>
<p class="p1">“I don’t want details, please spare me the details,” begged Dandelion. “Just… fine. But use one of your silencing spells, please.”</p>
<p class="p1">“Oh we will,” promised Triss with a grin.</p>
<p class="p1">“Now, you can’t spoil our surprise,” said Yennefer.</p>
<p class="p1">“Believe me,” muttered the poet. “I intend to forget this conversation ever happened.”</p>
<hr/>
<p class="p1">He still felt somewhat frazzled, even after Triss and Yennefer left, no doubt off to go prepare for their fun evening. <em>Witches</em>, he thought irritably. It was mid afternoon, and the cabaret was empty, Zoltan was upstairs somewhere, and Dandelion was the only one in the main room (although, support was only a scream away). </p>
<p class="p1">The door opened and Dandelion looked up, prepared to tell any prospective customers to fuck off. He wasn’t in the mood. But it wasn’t a customer.</p>
<p class="p1">“Good news,” Geralt said, stepping into the door. “Dijkstra’s dead. And Radovid.”</p>
<p class="p1">“Oh,” said Dandelion quietly. “I really wish you’d stop killing everyone, Geralt.”</p>
<p class="p1">Geralt sighed and sat beside him. “I didn’t have a choice-” Was it the poet’s imagionation, or was he trying to convince himself?</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion threw up his hands, shouting, “You always say that!”</p>
<p class="p1">“Dandelion-” Geralt reached out to place his hand on the bard’s shoulder, but he shrugged his hand off.</p>
<p class="p1">“Sometimes, I don’t recognize you, Geralt,” he whispered. “I don’t care that Dijkstra is dead. I don’t care that Redania is free. I don’t care about any of that. I just- I want to be certain you’re going to be able to live with yourself when this is all over.”</p>
<p class="p1">Geralt tilted his head. “What do you-”</p>
<p class="p1">“What’s the point in saving the world if you’re going to hate yourself for how you did it?” For a moment, they both stared at one another in silence, considering. </p>
<p class="p1">“Radovid died at Phillipa’s hand,” said Geralt quietly. “And Dijkstra was going to kill Roche and Ves. I truly didn’t have a choice.”</p>
<p class="p1">Well, Dandelion couldn't say that he was upset that Dijkstra was dead. He sighed, tapping his fingers on the table. “Geralt- I, I just want you to be careful,” he said quietly. “You hate politics, Geralt.”</p>
<p class="p1">“I can’t stay out of them, not when they’re coming for me. Not when they affect the people I care about. Radovid allowed the Witch Hunters, with a proper king-”</p>
<p class="p1">“Who? Radovid didn’t have an heir, Redania will fall into Civil War and Temeria - is Roche going to be king?” He frowned, trying to imagine it. He knew what Roche thought about non-humans, and - although the man had been polite enough to him - he suspected he didn't think much higher of Omegas.</p>
<p class="p1">“I don’t think he wants it.” </p>
<p class="p1">“Neither do I, but by destabilizing the north it could allow Nilfgaard to secure a stronger foothold. Do you think Emhyr will be a better king?”  </p>
<p class="p1">Geralt looked around to check that they were alone, then dropped his voice. “Emhyr won’t be king for long-”</p>
<p class="p1">“You’re going to kill him too, I imagine?” He was joking. Mostly. </p>
<p class="p1">Geralt shook his head. “He intends to abdicate in favor of Ciri.”</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion frowned. “In favor of- is that what she wants?”</p>
<p class="p1">“She hasn’t decided,” Geralt replied. “I- I won’t force her, but if she takes the throne she could be the best ruler in years.”</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion cocked his head. “I suppose,” he mused. “Are you certain Yennefer isn’t pushing her into this?”</p>
<p class="p1">“I’m certain. Yen- Yen wouldn’t do that, not to Ciri.”</p>
<p class="p1">“You’re right about that, I imagine,” the bard said. “Speaking of Yen, she and Triss are looking for you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">It was still early, sunlight hadn’t even begun to filter in through the window, but Dandelion couldn’t pretend to sleep any longer.</p>
<p class="p1">He swung his feet out of bed and grabbed his cane, then limped downstairs in search of food. It seemed he was the only one awake, everyone else still in bed. No doubt Geralt and the sorceresses were all tuckered out.</p>
<p class="p1">He managed to scrounge together a meal of toast and sat at one of the tables, propping his feet up on the chair across from him and making himself comfortable.</p>
<p class="p1">“You look miserable.” Ciri was standing in the doorway, her arms folded over her chest.</p>
<p class="p1">“It’s too early to be awake, my dear,” he replied.</p>
<p class="p1">She shook her head, crossing the room and dropping into a chair beside him, swiping a piece of his toast. “Come on, Uncle Dandelion, spill.”</p>
<p class="p1">She’d started calling him Uncle ever since she arrived at the Chameleon. He wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t say he didn’t like it. So he hadn’t commented on it and hoped she could continue of her own accord.</p>
<p class="p1">“Oh it’s nothing-”</p>
<p class="p1">“Bullshit.”</p>
<p class="p1">“Mind your language! I will not have your mother saying I’m a bad influence on you.”</p>
<p class="p1">“You’re a bad influence on everyone,” said Ciri.</p>
<p class="p1">“Hmm. Maybe. But I do it in style.”</p>
<p class="p1">“Style?” She leaned back, folding her arms over her chest. “I like what you’ve done with the place,” she said, nodding around the inside of the cabaret. “Its… theatrical.”</p>
<p class="p1">“It’s a cabaret!” he said. “It should be theatrical!”</p>
<p class="p1">She nodded. “Can I ask you something personal?”</p>
<p class="p1">“Of course, dear.” He pushed his papers aside and fixed his gaze on her patiently.</p>
<p class="p1">“What’s it like?” she asked. “Being… an Omega.”</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion took a moment to think. “I- well, I can’t say it’s pleasant,” he said slowly.</p>
<p class="p1">“Be honest.”</p>
<p class="p1">“It fucking sucks and I hate it,” he said quietly. “I never asked for this, I only ever wanted to be a bard, but if everyone had known what I was, then I couldn’t even have been that.”</p>
<p class="p1">“Is that why you go by Dandelion?”</p>
<p class="p1">“I go by Dandelion because my father named me Julian,” he snapped. “And I call myself the Viscount de Lettenhove because it would piss him off.”</p>
<p class="p1">“Where’s Lettenhove?” asked Ciri.</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion shook his head. “You wouldn’t have heard of it. The only claim to fame is that they host a biannual flesh market that’s the second largest in Redania.”</p>
<p class="p1">Ciri shook her head. “I can’t believe that’s <em>legal</em>,” she said. </p>
<p class="p1">“They had Omegas in the court of Cintra, Ciri. I played there more than once.”</p>
<p class="p1">“I saw them,” she said quietly. “I never talked to any of them.”</p>
<p class="p1">“I believe it was custom in Cintra to remove their tongues if they made too much noise,” said Dandelion quietly, drumming his fingers on the table. “It’s better if they’re quiet, that way people don’t think about how they’re treated.”</p>
<p class="p1">“They aren’t seen as human,” guessed Ciri.</p>
<p class="p1">“No,” Dandelion shook his head.</p>
<p class="p1">“If you could choose, would you be an Alpha?”</p>
<p class="p1">“Why would I want that?” he asked. “I’d be a beta, any decent person would. Alphas - Geralt excluded - are foul and cruel.”</p>
<p class="p1">“My grandmama was an Alpha,” Ciri said quietly.</p>
<p class="p1"><em>Oops</em>. He’d known that Calanthe had been an Alpha - it was the only reason she’d been able to keep the throne - but the fact had slipped his mind. Dandelion had to think quickly, saying, “As I said there are a few exceptions.”</p>
<p class="p1">“She didn’t have a mate,” admitted Ciri. “She said she wasn’t interested in having one, that an Omega was a nuisance.”</p>
<p class="p1">“I would have agreed with her, once. I thought I was the only special Omega, the only one that wasn’t worthless.”</p>
<p class="p1">“What do you think now?”</p>
<p class="p1">“If Omegas are a nuisance, it’s only because they’ve never been allowed to be anything different. They’re trained to be that way. When I went to Oxenfurt, I didn’t know how to do anything for myself. I’d never bought food, been in a bank, or made any decisions for myself. I had to learn all of it. If it hadn’t been for the Countess de Stael, I wouldn’t have survived. She knew what I was, and bought me my suppressants when I couldn’t afford them.” Which, admittedly, had been most of the time.</p>
<p class="p1">Ciri nodded, looking thoughtful. “Thanks,” she said quietly. “For everything Dandelion.”</p>
<p class="p1">“Of course,” he said with a smile. “I’ll always be here, if you want to talk. About anything. And believe it or not, I can keep a secret, even if Geralt occasionally suggests otherwise.”</p>
<p class="p1">“Well, you do have a tendency to blab about his personal life.”</p>
<p class="p1">“Only when he lets me.” Despite what people thought, Dandelion was more than adept at figuring out what details of Geralt’s life should and should not be included in his ballads.</p>
<p class="p1">She stood, taking one last piece of toast. “I’m going to the dock,” she said. “Tell the others I’ll meet them there.”</p>
<p class="p1">Vaguely he wondered if he should talk her out of it, but then, he supposed it wasn’t up to him what Ciri was allowed to do. “Stay safe,” he said.</p>
<p class="p1">“I always do,” she promised, before stepping out the door and pulling up her hood, leaving Dandelion alone with his thoughts.</p>
<p class="p1">He nibbled at his last slice of toast in silence, wondering if it would be worth it to make another. Then again, perhaps not.</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion paused at the sound of laughter filtering from upstairs. He tilted his head, debating if he should worry. It sounded like Yen and Triss, which immediately made him scowl.</p>
<p class="p1"><em>As long as Geralt’s happy</em>, he told himself firmly.<em> I can manage anything as long as Geralt’s happy. That’s all that matters</em>.</p>
<p class="p1">The sorceresses emerged into the main room, clearly engrossed in conversation. There was no sign of their Witcher companion. </p>
<p class="p1">The bard pointedly looked away. Whatever they were up to, he was happiest to stay out of it.</p>
<p class="p1">“You might want to go and fetch Geralt,” said Triss, sliding past him. She was grinning, her eyes glittering with mischief.</p>
<p class="p1">Dandelion froze, toast lifted partway to his mouth. “Why? What have you done to him?” There wasn’t any blood on them, which ruled out murder (possibly), but there was still a lot of things that could have happened. <em>Or they could have taken a bath post murder</em>, muttered a voice in the back of his head.</p>
<p class="p1">“Nothing he didn’t have coming,” said Yennefer. “He’s upstairs, in the room you loaned us.”</p>
<p class="p1">“I can’t walk!” he protested.</p>
<p class="p1">“You’ll need this,” said Triss, tossing him a key.</p>
<p class="p1">“Is it going to magically help me walk?” Neither of them replied, still giggling and whispering to one another, occasionally glancing back over their shoulder at him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay so this quest actually takes place at the Kingfisher, butttt I thought it would be way funnier at Dandelion’s brothel. Plus Dandelion can’t exactly walk to the Kingfisher in this story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">He leaned heavily on his cane, cursing as he made his way up the stairs. “Fucking sorceresses,” he muttered. “See if I invite them to live in my house again.” He would, of course, if that was what Geralt wanted. It was one of the annoying parts of being so close to the Witcher.</p><p class="p1">Dandelion shoved open the door to the room he’d loaned them, poking his head inside. Then he stopped. “Oh.” </p><p class="p1">Geralt was handcuffed to the bed, looking pissed and slightly chilled more than anything. It seemed his night hadn’t gone as planned. <em>I guess they weren’t interested in a threesome</em>, he thought, noticing with amusement that he was still wearing his underwear.</p><p class="p1">The room smelled strongly of misery, and a touch of anger. As part of his mutations Geralt didn’t give off emotional scents as much as other Alphas might, so he must have been there for quite sometime.</p><p class="p1">But he seemed unharmed, which was what mattered most.</p><p class="p1">Dandelion couldn’t help but snicker at the sight, limping forward until he came to a standstill at the foot of the bed. “Well, well, ladies did quite a number on you.”</p><p class="p1">The Witcher’s eyes narrowed and the smell of irritation grew stronger. “Do a number on you if you don’t-”</p><p class="p1">The bard grinned, sitting on the foot of the bed and letting his cane clatter on the floor. “In your shoes, my friend, I’d be promising mounds of gold,” he laughed, “not making threats.”</p><p class="p1">“Untie me now, or you’ll need the gold to replace your teeth.” Geralt nudged him with his foot, a scowl on his face.</p><p class="p1">But Dandelion knew him too well to be worried, Geralt wouldn’t follow through on any such threat. He merely laughed. “You’d have to catch me first, and it doesn’t look like you’ll be getting out of here anytime soon.”</p><p class="p1">Geralt growled and nodded around the room. “You know about this?”</p><p class="p1">“Nope,” he popped the <em>p</em>, accenting the word with a grin. “Ladies didn’t tell me till this morning.” A part of him wished they’d told him so he wouldn’t have to sit up all night, imagining their hands all over Geralt. Another part of him was glad they hadn’t, since he might have tried to stop them. <em>Although, on the other hand, maybe not</em>. The sight was amusing after all.</p><p class="p1">He crawled over Geralt, stopping with his hands on either side of his head, grinning down at him. “And what a shame! It looks like you had a <em>roaring</em> good time.”</p><p class="p1">“Save it. I’m not in the mood.”</p><p class="p1">“Well, I sure am.” Dandelion plopped down on Geralt’s chest, tilting his head and studying the Witcher. “What’d you play? <em>Tame the Fiend</em>? Or was it <em>Free the Prince</em>?”</p><p class="p1">“Dandelion!” Geralt jerked his body, clearly an attempt to dislodge him. It didn’t work.</p><p class="p1">“Alright! Sorry, I don’t often see you like this. I couldn’t resist.” He couldn’t complain about the view, and took a moment to savor it, tilting his head and studying Geralt.</p><p class="p1">“Dandelion-”</p><p class="p1">“Committing it to memory is all,” he promised with a snicker. “It’s not every day I get to sit on your lap and be in charge.”</p><p class="p1"><em>It wouldn’t be proper for you to be in charge</em>, said a traitorous voice in the back of his head. <em>He’s the Alpha. He should be in charge</em>. Dandelion pushed it away, pulling the key from his pocket and reaching for Geralt’s wrist. “So. How do you feel? A bit numb, I’d expect?” He was still grinning, unable to resist enjoying Geralt’s obvious discomfort.</p><p class="p1">“Tell anyone about this and-”</p><p class="p1">“Calm down!” the bard assured him. “Won’t peep a word. It’s one thing to laugh at a friend and another entirely to make a laughing stock of him.” It would be a hilarious ballad, and he certainly intended to write it, but it would be for his own eyes only. Well, his eyes, Geralt’s and <em>maybe</em> Zoltan’s. But that was it. He wasn’t cruel.</p><p class="p1">“Got what I deserved,” grumbled the Witcher. The smell of anger was tinged with sadness, but only for a moment. “Should have known it was too good to be true.” Finally free of his shackles, Geralt pushed himself up, sighing and rolling his shoulders. Dandelion brushed off his jacket and leaned against a dresser.</p><p class="p1">“You certainly should have. Oh Geralt, how little you know about women. Did you really think you could have them both?” He hadn’t failed to notice how Geralt had been pining after them both, flitting between whichever one happened to be in the room with him. Honestly, it was amazing it had taken as long as it had for them to get angry. “You have a great deal to learn. I’d be glad to give you some advice, if you want.”</p><p class="p1">“Think I’ll pass.”</p><p class="p1">Dandelion didn’t listen. “Triss and Yen are lost causes, but there’s always Shani you know. I received a letter from her recently, she’s on the front now but once the war is over-”</p><p class="p1">“Dandelion, stop trying to set me up with women.” His voice carried a hint of a growl, it wasn’t an order so much as the threat of one. It still made Dandelion shiver.</p><p class="p1">“Would you prefer I set you up with men?” he asked, trying not to sound too curious.</p><p class="p1">“I’d prefer you didn’t set me up with anyone,” said the Witcher. “I don’t need anyone.”</p><p class="p1">The bard frowned, unable to help himself as he asked, “What about me?” It was a pathetic thing to ask, and he immediately wished that he’d kept his mouth shut.</p><p class="p1">But Geralt didn’t seem to judge him. “Offering to set me up with yourself?” he asked quietly.</p><p class="p1">“Perhaps.”</p><p class="p1">Amber eyes studied him intently and Geralt tilted his head. “In what way?” he asked finally.</p><p class="p1">“Any way you’d like,” his whispered, his throat feeling suddenly dry. “You marked me once-”</p><p class="p1">“I remember.” Geralt’s hand was suddenly on his shoulder, pressing gently against his scent glands. Dandelion returned the gesture, placing his hand over Geralt’s neck.</p><p class="p1">“I miss it,” the bard whispered quietly. The bond had initially been a move of desperation, it hadn’t been until Geralt’s death and the end of the bond that he’d realized how badly he craved it. “I’d let you do it again, if you’re amicable.”</p><p class="p1">“You’d be safer, if you were marked,” the Witcher said quietly.</p><p class="p1">Dandelion nodded, not trusting himself to speak, waiting to see what Geralt would say. When the Witcher didn’t immediately respond, Dandelion rested his hand against Geralt’s chest, pushing him gently into the blankets. “I want you,” he whispered.</p><p class="p1">“No.”</p><p class="p1">He pulled back as though he’d been struck. “Geralt- I- I thought, don’t leave- I-”</p><p class="p1">“Dandelion.” Geralt placed his hand over the bard’s mouth. “Listen. I- I can’t stay with you- not now, but-” He tilted his head, studying Dandelion. “Once this is over, I’ll stay with you, if that’s what you want.”</p><p class="p1">“Why wait? Geralt-”</p><p class="p1">“Because, Dandelion, you deserve more than for me to have to take off in the morning. I’d prefer to have time to stay with you, not have to rush off.” He licked his lips. “I don’t want you to think you’re just a consolation prize.”</p><p class="p1">“Why would I think that?” he asked, cocking his head.</p><p class="p1">“Triss and Yen-”</p><p class="p1"><em>Oh</em>. He’d honestly forgotten about them already. “Geralt, I’ve never envied them,” Dandelion said. “I just didn’t think they were good for you, that’s all. And besides, I can’t offer you monogamy, so I would never have expected it of you.”</p><p class="p1">Geralt snorted. “I wouldn’t dream of asking for that, Dandelion,” he said softly, running his hand through his friend’s curls. “I know you too well, you whoremongerer.”</p><p class="p1">Dandelion leaned into his touch, suddenly hyperaware that he never wanted Geralt to leave. But that wasn’t an option. Clearing he throat he said, “You- ah, Ciri told me to tell you that she’s waiting at the port.”</p><p class="p1">Geralt sighed, as though he’d forgotten about that. “We should already be on our way to Skellige,” he admitted.</p><p class="p1">“I suppose there’s no point in insisting upon accompanying you?” The thought of staying behind terrified him. There was no guarantee that Geralt would survive, or even that the world wasn’t about to end.</p><p class="p1">But Geralt’s voice was firm as he said, “<em>No</em>.”</p><p class="p1">“Thought so,” he said with a nervous laugh. “Ah well. Take care of yourself friend. And you’re not sore about my teasing, are you?”</p><p class="p1">“No, I’m not.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I mean really, if you’ve not seen this scene you should, it is comedy GOLD. It’s also the gayest scene known to mankind. <a href="https://youtu.be/cLQ5AgJ6AvU">It’s on Youtube</a>.</p><p>Oh and if you’d like another interpretation of this scene, complete with smut, Apuzzlingprince wrote a fic that I absolutely ADORE called <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/14244609">Bound</a>, so check it out!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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